Hope you people had a nice Halloween!

3 Nov

The TexPats had a crazy Halloween (as usual)…here’s to hoping all of you did as well!

Now that we have that out of the way we can start tearing down our spooky decor and replace it with fall leaves and little gourds and cornucopias! The earlier you prepare for Thanksgiving the better.

If you don’t have money to travel or can’t save up enough in time…why not start planning a holiday with friends. Collect some fun recipes and have a reserve of Pilgrim hats and Indian feathers ready for when the time comes! Early prep is the best…especially if your name is Curt and you tend to forget things when the time comes. 🙂

So…give yourself a few more days to sleep off those ghastly Hallow-hangovers and then get your butt to work on the next party day!

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Nancy Sinatra tries to hitch hike to Texas (or Arizona)

28 Oct

I want to talk about this Nancy Sinatra song that popped up on my itunes shuffle (no doubt purchased during a drunken night of playing sing-along-dress-up).
Now those of you who know Nancy know that she’s usually singing about boots walking over people or getting men drunk with wine she made of lavender and then stealing their stuff.
But THIS song…Nancy is out in the rain, walking down a HIGHWAY, sleeping under park benches hoping she doesn’t get offed. See she’s just trying to get to 1. San Antonio or 2 Phoenix. Whichever one. To get the hell away from her horrible man. By HITCHHIKING. This song is a cover, usually done by a man, and I’m not trying to be sexist but..this image disturbs me. I guess things in the 70’s were safer for a young, attractive woman, walking down a highway by herself hoping to get picked up by a trucker.
And the music is awfully romantic which just kind of adds to the fact of how disturbing I find it. At least she’s got a hat on. I guess.
I think it’s probably good that us here in the modern times have pop stars with some common sense. Like Nikki Minaj. Who I’d actually love to see do a cover of this song.

Breakfast Tacos

25 Oct

Okay Fatties, I know you have been wondering how to make some delicious breakfast tacos. Alright, maybe that’s just me, but anywhoo, here’s a recipe I like to whip up for Jenny and Curt when they have a case of the hangovers.

    POTATO EGG AND CHEESE BREAKFAST TACOS FROM HEAVEN

1 TSP OLIVE OIL
1 LARGE BAKING POTATO (DICED)
4 EGGS
1 BAG FLOUR TORTILLAS
1 CUP OF THE CHEAPEST FAKEST SHREDED CHEESE AVAILABLE
CILANTRO (optional)
SALSA (optional)

First heat the OLIVE OIL in a pan over medium heat on the stove. Next add POTATO to the pan and cook until dark brown, about 20 minutes. Next whip EGGS in a bowl and add to the cooked potatoes, add a pinch of salt and pepper to taste. I like to heat my tortillas on the stove over direct flame until they bubble just a bit. After cooking the eggs for about 2-4 minutes remove from heat and add CHEESE. Let the cheese melt on to the scrambled egg and potato mix. Fill FLOUR TORTILLA, you can garnish with a bit of CILANTRO and SALSA if you like. ENJOY!

AMF

You’ve got a week until the night of fright!!!

24 Oct

If you don’t have a costume then it is TIME!! Sit down, clear your mind and think about something funny or better yet…super slutty.

You can dress up as just about anything for the spooky night. If you choose the funny route…try looking to political figures or current events for your inspiration. I personally never get tired of the good old Sarah Palin ensemble.

If you’re gonna go the skanky way then I highly suggest you watch Mean Girls. They hit the nail on the head with Halloween outfits: sexy lingerie with some sort of animal ears

Good luck with the costumes everyone!!

TEXPAT Tyler Wallach

24 Oct

When a person leaves a country, he or she becomes an “expatriate” or “expat.” When a Texan leaves Texas, he or she becomes a “texas expatriate” or “texpat.”

You know you’ve seen his art.

Sticker artist and actor Tyler Wallach is an extraordinary texpat who started making his mark from the moment he stepped off the plane from Houston. We asked Tyler to answer a few questions about his experience as a new New Yorker.

Where are you from in Texas?
A suburban area in northern Houston. A tad like Agrestic, but close enough to the city so I could sneak away to nightlife, film & theater.
Did you always want to be a New Yorker?
I was president of the Drama Club my senior year of high school (yup thats real). With so much 17 year old power buzzing around in my head, I planned a class trip with a travel company to New York City and I haven’t been the same since the moment I saw the buildings from my seat in the plane 5 years ago.
What do you miss about home?
Food and Texas hospitality. It’s a VERY real thing. Meeting new people out in public in Texas sometimes feels like running into a genuine old friend. In New York, sometimes it feels like you’re running into more enemy’s. As far as the food goes, NOTHING compares to Texas BBQ, Mexican Food or WHATABURGERRRR!!!
Most surreal NYC adventure?
They all feel so surreal, it’s incredible that a year later, I still can’t believe that this is where I live, it’s honestly like living inside of a board game.
My most surreal experience was getting cast in the first show I auditioned for based on the fact that I was from Texas. The director later told me “You were just so cute and the singing sounded great, but when you told us you were from Texas and did your little accent for us, well that was it, we knew we had to have you, don’t lose that charm”. Can’t argue with that, I’ve tried desperately not to conform to the icey personalities of NYC – which is not to say that I haven’t met some incredible people here in the city.
Worst NYC mistake? Falling in love with an unworthy person. Which of course, I ended up learning from, but damn that shit was rough.
What makes someone a real New Yorker? Someone who also realizes how goddam lucky we are to live here and doesn’t take ANY aspects (the Art, Music, Fashion, Drugs, Drinking, Page6, Beggars, Protestors, Jobs, Food….) of it for granted. When you feel too tired to go out on a Friday night, WHO CARES?! Get your ass up, text me and let’s do it – we get Kesha every weekend, but still manage to produce our art, pay our rent. Also, what makes a TRUELY true New Yorker is someone who has their Metrocard out BEFORE you’re in line to swipe & STAYS TO THE RIGHT WHEN WALKING!!!!!!!!
Any juicy celebrity sightings?
SO MANY!!! I’m obsessed – literally there are some nights where I’ll feel a bit of energy and it’s gonna be a “celebrity night y’all” my nyc DREAM is to meet/runinto/stalk Sarah Jessica Parker, but it just hasn’t happened yet 😦
MET / INTERACTED WITH: Kristen Chenoweth, Sean Hayes, Debbie Mazar, David Hyde PIerce, Star Jones, Lucy Lui, Shirley Knight, Dillon McDermott, Susan Sarandon, Donna Murphy, Sam Waterson   
SAW / STALKED: Kelsi Grammar, Nina Garcia, Jason Bateman, Sharon Stone, Snookie, Joel Grey, Ed Westwick, Anna Wintour, OBAMA, Jane Fonda, Perez Hilton, Klhoe Kardashian
Where can we find you on a normal day in NYC?               Working at EATALY as of yesterday (AMEN! A Job!!) – but probably in the West Village/Chelsea/Soho tagging up a storm or in my hood in Washington Heights.
You’re hosting a dinner party with five of your favorite New Yorkers (living or dead). Who’s in attendance?
1. Andy Warhol
2. Keith Haring
3. Liza Minelli
4. Betsey Johnson
5. Tim Gunn
What is C-L-O-U-D-Z? Did moving here effect your art?
CLOUDZ is a world of color I dreamed up and created. I was taking a Screenprinting class in college and took an assignment too far. Told to “create something that you are” i chose the medium of ever-changing, floating clouds. I knew I wanted to be someone who traveled and moved around so I felt a connection with the cloudz, started drawing my own versions of what I would literally like like and never stopped. It turned into drawing on everything – my folders, skin, final drafts of papers – soon onto an stack of HELLO MY NAME IS stickers I found, and thats where things really started.
How can I get some C-L-O-U-D-Z?
contact me http//www.C-L-O-U-D-Z.com
One piece of advice for someone new to the city? It’s what someone told me – don’t forget to create a life for yourself. Even in the biggest city in America, you need to wake up in an environment that is YOURS, that you feel comfortable in – – because let’s face it, I feel more comfortable pushing my through french tourists excited about Olive Garden than I do sitting in my car waiting for the traffic light to change in Texas, ya know? create your life, introduce yourself to the guy who does your laundry (no I haven’t done my own laundry in over a year, thanks NY) – meet the guy at your favorite subway/drycleaner/headshop and learn his name – say hello, make friends and remain yourself, because nobody is from  New York, we’re all implants from different lands with new stories to tell and lessons to learn.

Tyler Wallach, NYC Street Artist
CLOUDZ creator & monster maker.
http://www.HelloMyNameisTY.com

Watch our intro!

21 Oct

The stars at night…

18 Oct

Are BIG and bright!! Unless you are living in NYC.  Yes you will see the other kind of stars from time to time. *cough* Olsen Twins *cough, cough* But they can only suffice for a short amount of time…kind of like Chinese food.

If you’re missing the South and all its glory then I do recommend watching something like:

Gone With the Wind: I know it’s not a TEXAS movie but it’s classic and dramatic, just like a Texan should be. Trust me, this is a major pick me up and just like Miss Scarlett you will just continue to gain strength and move on to another day!

Once you feel empowered and your southern drawl feels stronger than it has since you were last home…why not continue your desire to conquer NY and watch something else.  My suggestion is one of the following:

1.) Day After Tomorrow

2.) Independence Day

3.) Deep Impact

4.) Cloverfield

Sometimes watching nature take on the city and WINNING will work wonders for you. 🙂

Keep up your spirits and remember, “Tomorrow is another day”!

-C